The Thought To Tell
by Chii53
Summary: Based off of the songs "The Thought To Tell" and "Cradle Of Destiny" by shu-tP Rated T for self harm and violence
1. Chapter 1

I stand on the beach and watch the waves move in and out. Slow. Rhythmic. Usually calming, but not today. I clutch the papers I hold in my hands. Precious drawings, and also horrible memories, from a past long gone. The wind pushes past me and I open my hands, letting the papers follow the wind and drift into the sea, gently washing the strokes of graphite away. Soon the paper will crumble. The sea would normally give me a sense of ease, but not today.

Once upon a time there was a little girl whose mother paid an artist to paint a portrait of her only daughter. The little girl was shy around people (especially men), and when the artist got there she would not leave her mother's side. Soon the mother left the artist to do his work, and he was all alone with the little girl. She trembled behind a chair and would not look him in the eye.

The artist looked out the window and saw a patch of dandelions that had gone to seed in the window box. He gently picked the flowers and held them out to the girl, smiling. The little girl sneezed, sending the seeds everywhere. She cautiously looked at the artist and began to laugh when she saw that he was smiling.

Next, he showed her how he painted with a brush and some ink. He held the brush out for the girl to try, and to his surprise she took the paint brush to his face! The surprised look scared the child, and she was visibly uneasy. The artist looked at her, cracked a smile, and laughed, just like she had minutes before.

He picked the girl up and sat her on his lap. He asked in a voice as soft as silk if she would like to watch him paint, and the girl nodded. He drew her a picture if the dandelions that had been in the window box. They sat there for hours, teaching the girl how to paint. It was through him that she found her love of art.

Eventually the girl's mother hired the artist to be the girl's art teacher. Unbeknownst to each other, as the girl grew older and became a woman, they had fallen in love. One day the girl's father came into great debt with the mafia, and in order to pay it off he had agreed to let the debt owner marry his only daughter. The girl, who was now a woman of marriageable age, was scared of the man she was to marry. The woman often sat alone thinking about the man she really loved, the artist.

One day the artist came to her door with flowers to congratulate her on her betrothal. He gave her the flowers and intended to be on his way. The woman wouldn't need an art teacher anymore, she would be too busy with her new husband. He was surprised when the woman ran after him, grabbing his sleeve and begging him not to go. Not to leave her.

He didn't understand. She wanted him to stay? But she wouldn't have any time for him any longer! Then he realized the truth. She had the very same feelings for him as he did for her. He took the flowers out of her hands and threw them to the ground, then held his hand out to her. She could come with him, and they would be happy. The loved each other. They could run away and marry, and live happily ever after, like the fairy tales. The woman smiled through her tears and grabbed his hand.

The happy couple didn't see the fiancé of the woman, sitting in his car. He had seen the whole thing, and he knew what was going on. The fiancé lept out of his car, drew a gun, and aimed for the artist's chest.

The artist and the woman, still not noticing the fiancé, were making plans to run away. Suddenly the artist pulled an old, folded up paper out of his coat pocket. He gingerly unfolded it, afraid that it would fall to pieces because it was so worn, and showed the woman. It was the picture of the dandelions that he had drawn her, the day they meet. The woman smiled and looked up.

That was when she saw the fiancé. He was shooting the gun.


	2. Chapter 2

The woman was a quick thinker. She saw where the gun was pointed. She couldn't bear to see her true love die. She jumped in front of the artist, letting the bullet pierce her own chest. With a bang and a thud it was over.

The artist looked down at his bloodied lover in shock before dropping to his knees and scooping her body into his arms, unable to say or do anything. The fiancé cursed and reloaded his gun.

The artist was too grief stricken to see what was coming. With another bang and the screech of tires the artist and the woman were left in the garden they had been in, the artist still holding his lover in his limp arms.


	3. Chapter 3

Today's your wedding day. I think somehow we always knew you would choose this day over the other 364. It's always been that way. When we were very young children even! I still remember the first time I saw you there, walking home on a rainy afternoon. I was behind you when you stopped and looked at a patch of dandelions next to the sidewalk. One of them had gone to seed and you were looking at it with tears in your eyes. I ran closer to you, but then something held me back, and I began to cry too. I stopped. Whatever was holding me back wouldn't let me go any farther. We couldn't have been more than 5 years old.

A few tears after that we were put into the same classroom. I was drawing in my notebook and you came over to see. I wouldn't let you. You pulled on it and I wouldn't let go, so you fell over. I was sure that you were so upset with me that you would never want to be near me again. Back then that was ok with me.

Later on in high school we took the same art class with a teacher that looked very familiar. You would go to the studio and draw alone, but one day I went there too. When I opened the door you were there, and you smiled at me, thinking I was the teacher. When you saw it was me you scowled and wouldn't look at me. We went to separate sides of the room and drew. You stood up and looked at my drawing. You looked happy, and I smiled. I love to see you happy. When you saw me smiling you left without cleaning your things. I went to you section and looked at what you had drawn. It was a familiar image of a man's hand holding out a piece of ragged folded paper, but the paper was blank. I held back tears as I looked at my pencil and tore a piece of paper from my notebook. I drew the dandelions on the paper and left the room. Later you came back with a vase of dandelions that had gone to seed and saw the paper I left for you.

It rained that afternoon while I was walking home from school. I was almost there when I saw you soaking wet, sitting on the bank of the stream. You had something in your hands, and as I got closer I saw it was the drawing. I also saw that you were crying. I don't want you to cry, I prefer a smiling you. When I walked by you I gave you my umbrella and in a puddle and fell on my face, and you followed me. You saw I was crying too, and you gave my umbrella back. You wouldn't take it. I thought you hated me. You cried and we shared my umbrella. We walked home together. We became friends, but I never told you that I drew the dandelions.

The next day I saw you waiting for our teacher. The one who looks familiar. I saw you show him the picture. You think that he's the one who left it for you. You think he's the one. I remember you cried when you saw him for the first time. I watched you get closer to him. I watched you fall in love.

We became best friends after high school. One day, not too long ago we were out shopping and you told me you had someone for me to meet. It was our old teacher. I knew you were in love. I wanted to leave. To run away. But the same thing that stopped me from running to you when we were children stopped me from running away. I saw that you were happy, and that's all that I could ever ask for.

A few months ago we met on the peer. You showed me your engagement ring. I told you that I was happy for you. It wasn't a lie. As long as you're happy, I am too. I had a letter for you. A letter explaining everything. I didn't have the courage to give it to you. When we parted ways that afternoon I saw something in your pocket. It was the drawing of the dandelions.

That night I sat alone. I thought about things. I held that letter all night long. I thought about you. I thought about us. I cried. If you have to drift away, I will tell you all my feelings.


	4. Chapter 4

Today is the day of your wedding. I'm happy for you. I really am. I see you together; you in your white dress. You look as beautiful as I've always dreamt you would. I find the courage to walk up to you. I'm still holding the letter I wasn't brave enough to give you before. I smile and congratulate you. You look so happy...

Then I give you the letter. Before you even open it I see the tears well up in your beautiful eyes. You grab my arm and crumple to the floor with a look of realization on your face. You see that it's me. You remember our past lives. You were the girl. I was the artist. I want to cry, but I smile for you.

"Don't cry... from now on and ever..." I tell you as I get down to your level, "I will hold on to these feelings for you..."

I smile for you, and you smile through your tears.

"I will watch you through to the very end. There is no need for tears, I am right beside you. We will become stronger, I believe it."

Your new husband must wonder why his wife and her best friend are hugging eachother so tightly. He must think that it's because we're girls.

"I love you"


	5. Chapter 5

It's been a few years and I have a child. You are and art teacher. I take my daughter to you for art lessons. I think she reminds you of me


End file.
